Great Are You

So this is it... my first rant in a while. I suppose I've ranted other times, but it's been a while since I blogged and, after a quick survey of some recent posts, no rants have been angry, or frustrated, or whatever I'm feeling right now.
So I went to soulhouse tonight. I don't know if that should be capitalized... I feel like it shouldn't be, and that's completely irrelevant. We worshiped, we sat and listened, and while everyone else worshiped again I drew all over my hand.
G-Ram talked about "I" in what I have dubbed, "The Philosophy/Theology of I". I was most interested at the point when he began to talk about totalitarianism, and the idea of people being told to think the same for the benefit of the state. As he began to talk about how we're made to be individuals, and think differently, I had a thought. Individuality frees us from doctrine. We're not meant to think the same, we're not meant to be clones. Why do we provide "freedom" to those who are oppressed by the totalitarian mindset, but give in to the doctrine that has been elevated by the religious right? It was a rather liberating thought for me, I'm not going to lie. Then he talked about the new giving project...
Bring things in for the Pregnancy Centre. Blah Blah Blah, abortion smells, blah blah, yay babies, let's support these people for having children instead of aborting them. I don't remember what he said exactly. I agree with some of the basics. The words he used... his tone... it rubbed me the wrong way. So I started writing on my hand.
LOVE! ADOPT! CHILD CARE! WHY DO WE DISTANCE OURSELVES?
What is pro life? Whose life do we value? Pregnancy isn't just one new life! It is also a series of lives transformed. Do I love too much to be "pro-life" or do people not understand what life is?
WE DO NOT HOLD THE WHOLE PICTURE.

That capitalized are written on my fingers right now. The rest is written on my palm. I don't pretend to be someone who is fantastic at loving, when I wrote that comment about loving too much it wasn't intended to be self promotion, but an expression of sadness at how I feel the way many people handle abortion lacks love. The last thought is a response to the song that was playing as I wrapped up writing on my hand... Great Are You, by downhere.

"Because I'll never hold the picture of the whole horizon in my view
Because I'll never break the night in two it makes me wonder
Who am I?
Who am I?
Who am I and great are You"

There is such a big picture when it comes to issues like abortion that we rarely stop to consider. We look at it as if it's black and white, but the beauty is in the colour. I am not going to advocate abortion. I think it's sad. I also think that the situations that lead to unplanned pregnancies are sad. I also think that as much as it may upset some, it probably upsets the poor girl/woman who goes through the procedure more. I will not love anyone less for having an abortion. I would think that's when people would need love more. Are we going to stand outside abortion clinics? Or are we going to be inside holding peoples hands, and praying with them, for healing. I don't know. I have no clue. I have never been solid on this issue... it requires so much sensitivity.

I think Shane Claiborne sums it up nicely;
"I must say I am still passionately pro-life. I just have a much more holistic sense of what it means to be for life, knowing that life does not just begin at conception and end at birth, and that if I am going to discourage abortion, I had better be ready to adopt some babies and care for some mothers."

The Stand

That was cool. I don't know what made it more beautiful, the emotion, or the unexpectedness. I was helping out with the choir tonight, and Dawn was forcing me to sing. Normally I'm there for crowd control and that's about it, but she really doesn't know Seasons of Love yet. We just finished, we had prayed, and we were about to go when Shannon suddenly declares that she feels we need to pray for Leticia for some reason. We brought her in to the room, and Dawn asked if we could pray for her. She started crying. Shannon prayed first, and was also crying by the end of it. I wouldn't say Shannon and Leticia are friends, I wouldn't say they are enemies either. They certainly don't spend much time together from what I've seen. It was beautiful. The discernment, and care that I saw tonight... that was cool.

Searchlights (Indoor Soccer)

I like Toronto, I'm not going to lie. I do, I like it here. I like some other places a little more, like New York, or a lot of places that are tropical, but I like Toronto. Over the years I've been in and around the city I've figured out how to get around, and I've found some rather cool places, there are more I'm sure, but I've found some good ones.
I also really like the people here. A lot of people are plastic, fresh out of the mold. However for every hundred or so of them, there's someone who just sticks out in such a refreshing way. I saw someone like that yesterday, and then met another.
The first was a street musician at Finch Station. I didn't get to experience his personality, but he was unique in so many different ways. First of all he appeared to be playing something that I can only guess was a lute. It wasn't a guitar, but I can't say for certain what it was. The fact that he was a small person is more of an afterthought. I would have taken a picture if it wouldn't have been so outrageously rude.
Then I hung out with Steph Kreick for a while, and after I said goodbye I went to the subway and, though my reasoning for it escapes me now, I lay down on a bench while I waited for a train. That's when I made a new friend. I don't know his name, but we talked about music from the platform of Bayview station until I got off at Bloor. He told me about his style, and artists like Hector Fonseca. We talked about ballad's and gospel, and becoming tired with the same old sound. I told him about the Swell Season, and how over the years Relient K has grown as a band over the years. He asked me about where to find good unique music and I don't remember what I told him, all in all it was a fun conversation. You don't worry about offending someones taste when you don't know them. You speak your mind. It's great.

Looking Alive

Do you ever see someone who just makes you smile? You don't even know them but you look at them and smile. Not the kind of smile you get when you see someone who looks like Jude Law or Kate Winslet, but one that comes out of an appreciation for that persons actions. I saw such a person today. She clapped on one and three, and danced to the music, and has likely been asleep for a couple hours already. I think that one sign of a good church is a cross section of ages, and appreciation of, what might be considered, more youthful worship, by people long since considered youthful. This woman was late 80's at her youngest and she was in to it. She didn't always clap on 1 and 3 though, just for a few songs. I would say this lady is one of a kind, but I know this to be false.
There is a woman in North Carolina who goes to a church that made me consider moving to the tiny mountain town of Bryson City. She was on the worship team of the grove church... and wow, she played a mean piano. She kept pace with the rest of the significantly more youthful worship team who played songs by Chris Tomlin, and Hillsongs, and other lively modern worship artists. We met this woman shortly before her 93rd birthday. As I said earlier, to me this is a sign of quality churches. Maybe it's just a coincidence, but these are the only times I've encountered such people, and the only churches I could consider to be my home. I hope that I can be that cool when I'm that old.

I Mostly Copy Other People

So here I am, posting for the second time in a week. I know, it's shocking, I know you don't believe it, but it's true. Why am I posting? Because I wanted to share something I guess, and it might just turn in to a rant, but we'll see. I'm just writing at this point. Last night I was coming home from dinner with the other intern and some interns from years past and I was silently complaining about the irregularity of street cars on Dundas. As I neared Spadina I was shocked not only by the sight of restaurants I discovered the excessively late hours of, but by a man on a bicycle. I've thought about him a few times today. Another guy on a bicycle in Toronto, one in a million, one more person on my walk home, one person I'll remember for a while, because he rode a bicycle even though he only had one leg. I didn't watch too closely, because I didn't want to be rude, and stare. I watched enough though. He would push off, and start to pedal, and then he would catch the pedal with his foot and try to pull it back up, and it didn't look like it was working out too well for him. Would he have been better off with crutches? Was it pride that lead him to choose a more common, yet personally ineffective mode of transportation?
I feel like this man deserves my pity, and at the same time I feel like he wouldn't accept it even if it was offered. I wonder if he's the type of person I could sit down and have a conversation with, or if he's just another face without a name. Another character that makes this city so unique.

The Unwinding Cable Car

My personal goal for this blog entry... I don't know. It's been a while since I've written anything here and I'm feeling reflective. Hence the picture. I took this picture during a fantastic thunderstorm that I was a part of from the beginning to about the middle as I stood outside my place with an umbrella. I guess my news goes like this. I'm working, oh am I ever working. The best part is that it's some of the best "work" I've ever done. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about I'll quickly run over my schedule.

Monday - Malvern
Every other week is either a Bible Study or a time of fellowship
Every week from 2:00 - 7:30 I help out with a choir (that might be going on tour in Barbados more
information to follow) Tuesday - Bridletown Every other week or so is a staff meeting in the morning
Every week I meet with my internship director to discuss life, and work and all that good stuff
Every week from 2:00 - 5:30ish I help set up for and run a kids club

Wednesday - Willowtree
Every week I either study urban missions or different aspects of spiritual disciplines
Every week from 4:00 - 6:00 I tutor
7:00 -10:00 I help out with a junior high youth group

Thursday - St.Jamestown
Every week I have built in time to reflect, or meet with people and talk about what I'm doing
Every week from 2:30 - 5:30 I help run a kids club
6:00 - 8:00 I help run a junior high program

And that's what I do with my internship. As you might have noticed, beside the day I have written a name. Those are the communities I work in on those particular days. If you were to look at those sites on a map of Toronto you would see that I make a loop downtown from Scarborough over the course of the week. You'll also notice that I only covered up to Thursday.

Starting on November the 2nd I am going to be running a youth ministry as the Youth Director for Rock and River Congregation in Mississauga. Every other Friday will be youth group, as either a Bible study, or a fun event, as well as a drop in time in the afternoons. The drop in space is primarily for youth in the community to have a place where they can hang out, play some foosball, maybe some video games, listen to music, talk to someone, and just experience a safe atmosphere. The goal is to also open up on Saturday's once we get a team set up to be available to hang out with and talk to.

This is an extremely exciting opportunity for me, and it's also going to be a huge challenge.

Other things I look forward to in November include the release of Southland Tales, and August Rush, and Anberlin and Mae's tour date at the Kool Haus. I also look forward to being a better blogger... but there's no guarantee on that front.

Here It Goes Again

So here I go, trying to get back in the swing of things. I think this time it will stick. I hope it will. I guess I could call this my intern blog, but I'm going to talk about more than the internship. I'm going to talk about things I see. I'm going to talk about culture. I'm going to talk about people. I'm going to talk about photographs. I'm going to talk about life.

To some of you when I say internship you say, "Wha?" So I guess I'll explain what I'm talking about. This year I am interning with the Toronto City Mission. I love the organization, I love the people in the organization, and I love what they do and what they stand for. This organization is about making a difference, a tangible difference in peoples lives. TCM work in 4 communities around Toronto, and they all have one thing in common. People who are hurting. People who are in need. All the communities are comprised of people with low incomes, on welfare, or newly moved to Canada. We get to know these people, we talk with these people, we share life with these people, and we give them options. We run programs to suit our skills and the communities needs. A slogan that I've seen that I really like and believe in is, "Helping to end the cycle of poverty," I start tomorrow.

Today I have something else to talk about. Freedomize. I went today, to this church that I've heard about a few times, it's called Freedomize and usually they meet in St.Andrew's Church beside Roy Thompson Hall, today they met in the chapel at Knox College on the U of T campus. They kicked things off today with a hip hop artist by the name of The Runaway, then there was some really cool worship that was a mix of new and original stuff, and hymns, that was followed by a gospel choir from the First Baptist Church.

There was such an interesting blend of culture there, 20-30 somethings, meeting for church, in a very traditional space, in a less than traditional way... It was cool, and it was real. The message today was about guarding your heart (Proverbs 4:23) and the pastor talked about at least two specific areas we need to guard our hearts against; Self idolatry, and keeping score. There could easily have been more points, but something happened in my mind and i started thinking about other things, important things linked to what he was talking about... but other things all the same. I started thinking about this thing called Pass a Penny, a kind of initiative that a friend of mine and I started up. I started thinking about why, and what, and all those other important things. That's not what this post is about though. If you're interested in Pass a Penny you can check us out on Facebook. Thanks for reading the first post in what will hopefully become The Daily Joel once again.

A Week In The Life

It is June 1st. It is 24-28 degrees outside, and there's a severe thunderstorm warning in effect. It is a beautiful day. I just finished working with a group from a catholic school near Newmarket, and it's fun to have a break. It was a great group though, they enjoyed practically every activity and were a lot of fun to interact with. We went on a canoeing adventure and even had a blast kayaking. The participation level is probably one of the best I've had with a group, especially of grade 7's. Aside from the ridiculous amount of bug bites that I am covered in, the week went really well. I haven't taken any pictures this week, which has me feeling a little lazy. I really miss a lot of people out there. There are 19 days left in LDP and then I have summer camp, so it looks like it's going to be a while before I get to spend some quality time with some people. My plans for next year are coming along nicely, but I refuse to announce anything until it's been finalized. Needless to say, I'm excited about the possibilities. The word for this week is anticipation. The picture for this week, is about anticipation. I'm looking forward to the summer, I'm looking forward to the fall, I'm looking forward to catching up with people, I'm looking forward to life. Right now I'm especially looking forward to a thunderstorm.

This Is Your Life... Are You Who You're Born To Be?

Called by Kary Oberbrunner just might be the kick in the pants that complacent Christians need. A strong statement, I know, but as rebellious as it sounds, it's what I've been waiting for, and I'm sure I'm not alone. Oberbrunner gets things started on an intimate level sharing a coffee shop conversation that resulted in a shift in thinking, and could change you life. As he explores what it means to really live the lives that Christ called us to he speaks with honesty, admitting his own imperfection and humanity, and discussing common misconceptions held not only by people looking in on the church, but by those sitting in the pews as well. Most refreshingly, it's all backed up by the one book that doesn't need a review. Oberbrunner not only references his points with the scripture they're drawn from, but he makes sure that his audience isn't limited by lack of knowledge, a much appreciated gesture. This book challenges it's audience to reevaluate what their life is, what their faith is, and how they've combined the two.

Hanging Out... Literally

So today was pretty sweet. It started off with me leading Impact (chapel time) again and it went well considering I barely prepared for it. From there I moved on to leading recreational drama which is always good and I think the kids enjoyed it. I had time off after that and then climbing club... or in other words 4 hours of fun with harnesses and ropes. We started off by doing an alpine climb up the hill by the office here at Medeba and then we went to the high ropes course and ate our lunch... hanging around 40 feet in the air. After we hung out up there and poured water on Kelly, everyones favourite californian (except for Matt Lindblad) we went in to the lodge and set up a port-a-ledge on the indoor wall while we watched music videos and ate freezies... and now it's my night off... rough day for Joel. Oh and for those of you who read this and don't know yet, Medeba Adventure Learning Centre is going to be my home for at least another year. I'm going to be staying here to participate in their 10 month Leadership Development Program and after that I'll be working here again next summer. WOOHOO! For more details on this program visit this website.

eBay... Oh eBay

So I just found something on eBay that I couldn't ignore. Often times I can ignore things. I must say I'm quite good at ignoring things, all kinds of things too. Important things, trivial things, news things, sports things, school things, I am pretty much an olympian ignorer. But this caught my eye and now I need to share the good news with all of you. I bought.... The String Quartet Tribute to Relient K! I mean seriously, as a Relient K fan how could I say no to that!!! It's going to be super chilling for when I'm in that crazy chill but wanting pop/punk mood. Darn you eBay for being so great!

Bonus Features Disc 1: Quotes

Ok, so tonight I went to campfire and some of the funniest things I've ever heard were said. So funny I went back to my practice of writing them down. I couldn't not never avoid sharing them with you... what? Oh well. Here they are!
Regarding Fun Dip:
"This stuff tastes like cough medicine, but it actually makes you sick"
During MadLibs:
Person A: "I need a noun! That's a thing!"
Person B: "Lower Intestine!"
Person C: "I was gonna say that!"

Oh children, how great you are.

MEDEBA: A New Hope

So I'm here. At Medeba. Immediately I was reminded of leadership camp. The gophers Scott Munro was so afraid of are just chillin' which is cool. The credit cards from our egg drop were still in the fireplace un-charred. It's going to be hard to try to seperate that weekend from my definition of what Medeba is. Since I've been here I have done some climbing, some belaying, some zip lining and about 500m of swimming, and that was just today. The past couple days have been full of seminars and other events that were fascinating and taught me a lot in some cases, while offering a quick refresh in other cases. I'm a little sunburnt, more than a little tired, and extremely excited for what this summer has in store. The other staff are super cool and I have connections to some of them directly, and others through friends. I had an aweXome time trying to learn how to juggle, the aweXomeness stemmed out of the level of failure I experienced. I'll try to update more as things come to mind. Oh, I don't know if I've ever eaten so much, the food here is quite possibly spiked with addictive substances. Not that I'm about to complain. Check back to read more of the MEDEBA CHRONIC(what)CLES!

The Pink Panther

Much as I regret to say it, on the 10th of this month the Golden Hawk was shot down by a vicious hunter known as "the wedding". After a one week period of mourning I rose to the challenge of yet another fun and creative hairstyle and it is with great enthusiasm I present to you... The Pink Panther. A pink pawprint skillfully applied to the back of my head by the talented Sarah Tripp, that's spelled with two p's if you hadn't noticed. Though it was a fantastic job of dying it is hard to observe this image if it is not in direct light, natural light is best, however it has been known to show occasionally under artificial light. The beauty of this design is that it is not just a pop culture reference, it is a simple image and the colour contrasts nicely with the black that is the rest of my hair. In addition there is an unintentional bonus in that it shows school pride. GO HUSKIES!

Umm... sorry?

Ok, I've been receiving several comments recently and I know that I owe you an apology. It has been three and a half weeks since I have posted anything on here and it's almost entirely my fault for a large part of that time. A lot has happened, including a period of approximately a week where my computer wasn't working at all. However it is finally fixed and I can begin to comment on things. I will do my best to post on here, however it will not be daily for quite a while. I am pleased to announce that starting tonight I am going to be at Camp Medeba in Haliburton. If you want to send me things, such as chocolate, money, medals, or trophies, even pizza trophies you can do so via this address.
Joel Torrens
C/O Camp Medeba
PO Box 138
West Guilford, Ontario
K0M 2S0

The Evening of the Golden Hawk

I know it's been a long time, I apologize for that, there wasn't much I could do. This past week the show closed, and what a week it was. Various injuries, swimming trips in the afternoon, plans made for my upcoming weekend etcetera. The big news was the closing of the show, which is sad yet at the same time amazing. 27 highschool students put on an amazing show according to pretty much everyone who saw it, and I learned a lot about professional theatre. I learned about all sorts of cool things you can do, and I learned there are things you can't do. For the good of the show you can't do things like change your appearance, consume dairy and other things that will effect your voice. Once the show is over however all bets are off... I have had ice cream everyday since the show has ended and it took me less than three hours to cut my hair... into something of a mohawk. Of course I wasn't satisfied with this, being me. Last night, after a day of swimming in a lake, hanging out with friends, going out to dinner, and random laughs, the Sarah's, Mary and Amber decided they were going to finally spike the 'hawk. As we went to Sarah Best's house to do this it was decided that before we went through with this the hair needed to be dyed, and by dyed I guess they meant bleached, to a goldish yellow colour. And I must say I think they did a sexy job. Kudos to you girls.

*NOTE* I will try to update this post with a better lit picture soon.

An Ode To A Paisley

Paisley this is for you
And I must say it's true
In my books you're Paisley #2
Lindsays baby is aweXome
And makes you look dumb
I'm sorry, but what can I do?

But for what it's worth
In all of your girth
I appreciate you all the same
I guess....

"I Miss You" just "Not Now"

This title pretty much sums up what I think of this album, though not in the way you might think. Angels and Airwaves, Tom DeLonge of blink182's new band, and to my knowledge the first completed post-blink project that can't be seen on MTV on a weekly basis. Being post-blink it's going to be impossible to escape comparisons, so I won't even try. Angels and Airwaves have an extremely well produced, mood creating sound. It's reminiscent of the later blink chill stuff such as... that's right... "I Miss You" and, "Not Now". DeLonge has said that this album is one to be listened to in the, "dark with a black light or a candle," and I couldn't agree more. Definitely an album to listen to lying down and just chilling. I recommend it so long as you don't take everything said on the album as gospel, for example, in the song "It Hurts" I would disagree with the statement, "your best friend is not your girlfriend," I don't think that's a very healthy way to approach a relationship. However there are positive messages on this album. There is a search for hope and inner strength that is refreshing, especially considering the source. This music doesn't speak to me on a lyrical level, but it's great to, "be really comfortable, maybe sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed."

I'll give this one 9/10 for music
10/10 for style
6/10 for lyrics

Side Note: A&A also features members from Boxcar Racer, The Distillers, and The Offspring

Flower Power in the Eleventh Hour

It's about time. In all the years that I've watched the Amazing Race I've had a little bit of a tradition. I go to the CBS website for the show before it starts and read the bio's for all the teams. Of course from these bios a favourite emerges, and then inevitably is eliminated in one of the first few rounds and I have to alter my allegiance. I am pleased to announce that this horrible streak has come to an end and the Hippies have won! WOOHOO, that's what I'm talking about. What an excellent final episode too, it came down to a matter of minutes between the final two teams. However, had the Japan leg been structured differently I'm sure the Hippies would have had a much bigger lead on the other teams, but it was definitely a good time for them to be back in Japan where they feel so comfortable. Congratulations BJ and Tyler, I knew you could do it.

The moral of this story - nice guys who go to Stanford and Harvard will always beat jerks who dropped out of college.

You Call That A Season Finale²

I can't believe it. I really can't. Prison Break, my sweet Prison Break, literally a provider of hours of entertainment. You let me down. I am ashamed of you. THAT'S NOT HOW YOU END A SEASON! Seasons end with earth shattering events that you just can't put in the middle of a season. It doesn't work that way. Why do the less than spectacular shows get it? The O.C. is killing off a main character this week! That's big news that has me thinking I just might watch it to see who, though I already have my theories. Oh Prison Break, if only it were just you. If only the same wasn't also true of Grey's Anatomy, the unneccessarily long, Monday instead of Sunday season finale suffers the same tragic flaw. Nothing I wouldn't expect in the middle of a season. Ok, that's not exactly true. Izzy DID quit, but there was no hype or suspense surrounding that whatsoever. It just happened. Both these "season finales" left me feeling like I only had to wait one more week, one week to see what's going to happen next. Yet I'm not disappointed that I'll have to wait a lot longer. I give both these episodes 4 Sad Clowns... And one sad Joel.